• Domina Dali

Rocking Your First Session & Tips for Returning Clients


Coming to Terms with your Desires

First thing's first, you cant ask for something if you don’t know what you’re asking for. Often the

biggest step can be coming to terms with your desires. Once you get over this part you’ll soon

leave all those trappings behind and wonder why on earth you waited so long to explore this

magical world of kink.


Without leaving the comfort of your own home you can explore your curiosities through

literature and film. Gauge how interesting certain things are for you. This can be a great starting

point for you to learn about your desires. This can also help you describe the sort of experiences

you would like to have in a session. You may learn that you have a vague inclination that you

have a difficult time putting words to. It is perfectly acceptable to contact a professional stating

that you would simply like to explore. I have done sessions for the brave and brand new that

are set of “tasters” for them to try.


Do your Research

There are many professionals that exist with different personalities, looks, and specialities. We

all meet different criteria and those criteria will matter differently to you. Things like cost and

area are probably the most basic. Does it matter to you that kink is of personal interest to them

and something they do in their private lives? How many years of experiences would you find

ideal? Gear your desires with the dominant you’re looking for. Their websites and social media are a great way to get a feel for them and the type of play they do. Do not message them with questions about your kinks, and what they're like.


Reaching Out

Once you have figured out who best suits you it is time to contact them! Different dominants

have different protocols about how to book a session. This will be made very plainly on that

dominants website or social media. It is best to follow those rules to a T. Not following them

will lead to rejection as this is a form of security for professionals.

Often you will be filling out a submission form or answering a series of questions.

Here are some pointers:


- Be open about everything you would like to do in that session otherwise we may not be able

to facilitate it mid session.


- When describing the type of scenarios you would like to experience it can be good to also

explain how you would like it to feel. Tender? Aggressive? There can be lots of nuance.


- It’s also good to tell us about your experience level, especially if you’re new.


- I can not speak for every professional but the more pertinent information I have the better.

However, keep the writing to the point as it can sometimes become muddled with

too much extraneous info. Think about whether the information your writing relates to your

desired outcome of the session.


- It may be a good idea for you to book an additional half hour longer than you think you’ll

need.


- Bring a tip amount just in case (though its not necessary), if you are feeling so inclined. You

can decide that after the session.


Preparing for Your Session

Give yourself the space to be 100% in the session. Do this by giving yourself ample alone time

before and after the session. Create a ritual around getting ready. Make sure you are scrupulously clean, like your are packaging yourself like a present for your dominant. Depending on the play discussed there may be other fun activities like shaving or enemas to do in advance. You will find any info related to that on the professional’s website or through the discussion you are having. While washing yourself take the time to clear your mind as well. Practice letting go of your thoughts by simply getting lost in the sensation of the water during your shower or bath. You can use this method during the scene as well. Free your mind of any strict expectations you have over the session or yourself and focus on simply enjoying yourself. Let yourself be and react freely. Know that there is nothing to be ashamed of. Dominants have seen and held so many different types of people and bodies. There is really nothing to be ashamed of.


The Session

-In many contexts showing up early is a good idea. When showing up for a session do not

come early, it is important to show up at the correct time you have been booked for.


-Offer tribute at the beginning of the session.


-Tell the dominant of any physical limitations you may have that day. Also tell them if you want

aftercare and what that looks like to you. If you’re unsure they may have some suggestions.


-Let go and let yourself be guided by the dominant.


-Communicate any issues you might have during the session. We are here to facilitate a good

experience for you! The dominant will go over what that communication can look like.


-Enjoy yourself!


Post Session

Take care of yourself any way you need. It’s important to eat and rest afterwords. You might

feel really energized after but know it is likely you will crash even some days later.


Reflect on your experiences. What did you like? Have you

discovered a new direction you’d like to move in? It can be helpful to write it out.


It’s also nice to write a message or review for you dominant! If you feel moved as such go for it!

 Professional Dominatrix - Domina Dali - Toronto, ON Canada