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  • Writer's pictureDomina Dali

5 Play Ideas for Beginners & First-Timers

Whether you're booking your first ever BDSM experience with a professional or wondering how to dip your toes this one's for you! The kink activities outlined below are great ways to begin your exploration and safe starting points for those who are brand new to kink.


Bondage is a great way to begin because it can allow the bottom to relax and relinquish control to the dominant. When the body is consensually bound, the mind is able to experience sexuality freely. A type of permission some may not be able to give themselves otherwise. Bound and helpless you cannot control any pleasure or pain that you receive and just as important you cannot conceal the arousal you feel.

Safety Tip! Never do bondage alone. Bondage cuffs are a safe and great way to start. Rope Bondage should be done with a skilled partner or professional.



Objectification doesn't require any physical skills or gear (though you certainly can include those things), the build up is all in your mind. Though there is a duality to it; feeling like the ultra-desired human sex toy -or- feeling that you're not even there or that you don't matter. Which can also be really hot! To play this up you can play with taking away someone's ability to talk by agreeing to it or even using a gag. Using them sexually or however you wish within their limits and in a way that they consent to. Being rough or simply establishing some rules. Hoods and bondage are also great additions to creating this headspace but not necessary.

Safety Tip! Discuss how you want to feel, which side of that objectification coin do you land on?


Orgasm Control

Choosing when, where, and how someone can cum is the essence of femdom. It’s the practice of delaying, denying, ruining, or forcing an orgasm. Edging is when you bring someone to the metaphorical "edge" of orgasm and then suddenly stop. Repeating this process several times before eventual climax and release, denial, or ruining. Orgasms are powerful things and weilding control over them can really heighten a scene, dynamic, relationship and so forth.


Erotic Spanking

A spanking doesn't have to be painful, it can be pleasurable just the same. It can be a great way to dip your toe into your pain tolerance and whether that's something you enjoy. Depending on the person it can be a punishment or reward, it can be humiliating or something that just gets you off! It's all about the person and the context we are doing it in!

Safety Tip! Stick to the meatiest parts of the bum and avoid the sides and lower back. Start slow and build up!



You don't need any tools, just your imagination. It's fun to play out power dynamics in a variety of contexts taken from real life. Boss and secretary. Daddy and daughter. Teacher and student. Doctor and patient. Owner and pet. Heroes and villains. It can also be fun (and this is my personal favourite) to reverse the power dynamic in those roles. Like bossy little girl, or patient's revenge... You can do relatively "vanilla" acts and have them feel very different and discover new aspects to your sexuality!


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